Archive for the ‘ fun ’ Category

with getting older, sometimes things which are great for kids appear just different…

I guess I need to blame my twisted mind, but have a look at the picture like Elmos Experiments, what does he wanna experiment with after undressing…

… does Santa squeak after the Reindeer’s Big Night … find it out with the Christmas squeak book …

…  or the ET-Finger cover the box and tell me what is your first thought about this “finger”…

and now for all who really only looked because of the title …

The 2 Finger Squirter

… not sure what the designers had in mind when creating that stuff.

Off to Guam

Well, we all know that there are some weird laws in the world. The reason why I copy the following ones is a mail I received and one of the laws below is my inspiration for my new job. :

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
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In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than ‘going blind!’)

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In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
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In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
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In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Maryland , USA it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only ‘in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.’

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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let’s just think for a minute; is there
any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

Ok, I did a google research and now I am 110% sure where I am heading to..

So now I need to apologise… sorry to all my friends and drinking mates.

I am off to Guam and start a new career :-)

The Land of the Free

I remember somehow that this words are part of a “popular song” which lyrics continue “and the home of the brave”. Well, looking at the pictures below it clearly shows brave people in a free land… or maybe just a bunch of nutcases which are colorblind and do not own a mirror ?

hmmm, so how can it be that bare boobs flashing for a second are not allowed in TV but that things are allowed to walk through public areas, where kids are around. I thought there are security guards at the entrances, Shouldn’t they do their job and protect the public ?

I guess Wall-Mart is really the home of the braves..

... well my necklace looked bigger in the mirror, I thought it covers more

... well your necklace looked bigger in the mirror, guess you thought it covers more...

I rather invest $6.92 to cuddle with one of the staff-toys

I rather invest $6.92 to cuddle with one of the staff-toys

You Got the Job ... !!!!!

You Got the Job ... !!!!!

Mate, no need to hold on, NOBODY will steal her from you !!!

Mate, no need to hold on, NOBODY will steal her from you !!!

OUCH.. that picture hurts more than the 2 pounds of bleach I poured in my eyes NOT to see it

OUCH.. that picture hurts more than the 2 pounds of bleach I poured in my eyes NOT to see it

Darling if you loose 40 Kilo and look carefully straight down, you might be able to find your Kid ...

Darling if you loose 40 Kilo and look carefully straight down, you might be able to find your Kid ...

Sweetheart, your chances for your dreams come true are much bigger if yuo wear this bright red shirt in Barcelona in the middle of a Bullfighting arena!!!

Sweetheart, your chances for your dreams come true are much bigger if you wear this bright red shirt in Barcelona in the middle of a traditional Spanish Bullfighting arena!!!

Hon, you already got a date tonight ???

Hon, you already got a date tonight ???

GUAAAARRRRRDDDDD - don't you see she steals 136 pounds of Feta Chees in a pink trash-bag ???

GUAAAARRRRRDDDDD - don't you see she steals 136 pounds of Feta Cheese in a pink trash bag ????

Wall-Mart, truly the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. Find more of this Brave People on http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

give me a break…

Breast Implant for Christmas

Well, if you looking for a bit an extraordinary christmas gift, how about some breast implants. No not for you girls, for guys. To be a bit more exact for REAL guys.That makes even an computer-geek to a real eye-catcher.

How about some breast impants for a tattoo. Give your hot chick on the arm or leg some more depth and another dimension. A breast implant for a tattoo is the way to go if you need a bit more attention. A normal tattoo is out. With a breast implant in a tattoo you are interesting for people.

A breast implant for a tattoo helps you to get in contact with people. Maybe you suffer from a small d#$@, or are plain ugly. Well With that you are interesting for your surroundings, get attention of the hottest chicks and can show up everywhere. You don’t need to bring your new flirt outside the club anymore to show your bike or fancy car. You can show your breast implant right away.

Maybe you think this is a crazy idea, well I think the same but there are people who do that kind of stuff. They call that breast implant for tattoos I think body art. Call it what you want, I think it is sick.

Maybe I just get too old. But look for yourself at the yummy breast implants in the tattoo of an canadian guy:

Life would be pretty boring if we would be all the same. So maybe the breast implants for a tattoo are a new hip trend and we all want it in the next years…

gimme a break

New shoes for my girl

My Girlfriend is a good girl, so I decided that it is time to get her a new pair of sexy high heels, beach-slippers and some shoes for running around at home.

I spend the last few weeks a bit more money than I should, so I needed to be very careful how to spend the money wisely.

At the end I found out that I have everything already at home to make her really happy.

When I was young my mama told me that the best presents are home-made. I put all my effort in the projects : sexy high heals for my Girlfriend. I really hope she likes them.

She comes home soon, either she likes them and I have the best night of my life, or I get my big german butt kicked harder than a Baseball-bat hits the ball in the finals…

Women are adorable, probably the best thing god ever created, at least when it comes to the design. Living with them is sometimes a bit tricky.

The following is the simple Number 1 rule

So guys, feel free to copy it, print it out and give it to your lovely wife when she serves you your next beer…
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON’T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY ‘NOTHING,’ WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR.
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE… REALLY.
1. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. Round IS A SHAPE!

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING.

gimme a break…

Snow White or its only too hot

It was about 3 pm today and I am sitting in my office, just bought some new domains and working on setting them up. Working since 6 am on it i was already a bit tired. The feet in a bucket of ice-water, the electric fans full speed in my face and all processors running on maximum… Yes it’s summer in Dumaguete.

Our Advertising officer was sitting on the telephone going through some routine-stuff and follow-ups, and it must be the temperature, cause suddenly I heard how she was talking to Snow White !!!

Yes Miss Snow White I just want to….

That caught my attention and no I was not dreaming… she was talking to Snow White for about 30 minutes. I was serious concerned and looked already online if there are similar cases and what to do against that problem.

Maybe she wanted to line up the seven dwarfs to take care of our garden?

I know that people give their kids sometimes funny names but Snow White is definitely over the top.

If that Snow White is not a real beauty she must go through hell in life sometimes…

give me a break…

Bubble shooter-get addicted

Sometimes when you work online you need a break. I found that game and spent hours the last year to crack the million. Finally I did i, call me the hero…

The best strategy is to clear one color after another. if you are down to two colors make sure you don’t clear the whole field with one shot…

I know it is too wide for the template I use here.
I don’t care, I like to play it on my own website

and here it is…. the most addictive game in the world:

  • live
  • in color
  • and stereo

Bubble shooter: